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I woke up this morning,
And I just had to thank god for my life.
Iapos;d just read through Jamesapos; book,
I start to pray and I ask god for a wife.
Itapos;s a time of devotion,
As I sit and speak to my god unseen.
Why should he listen?
What a lover, man, heapos;s in love with me.
Why me, god?
Why should you choose me?
On your team, god,
Can you use even me?
I think a few years back,
On a road that headed to nowhere.
Now that youapos;ve found me,
I can see how you were always there.
So great a salvation,
But to you, my Jesus, what am I worth?
Quiet times like this,
I feel I get a glimpse of heaven right here on earth.
Why me, god?
Why should you choose me?
On your team, god,
Can you use even me?
Oh, hold me in your arms of love.
Sometimes I swear I feel your heartbeat.
I could never ever thank you enough,
But hereapos;s my life, for whatever itapos;s worth.

Share this brief quiet moment with me,
And let the lights and smoke all fade away.
Thereapos;s nothing left but jesus,
And no one left but you.
Where will you go from here?
Welcome to the end of time well spent.
I hope the words Iapos;m singing find you well,
But donapos;t miss the message.
Thereapos;s no greater truth.
Take refuge in,
His heart.
Take refuge in his heart.
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Today seems rather promising:

-Dinner with the rents

-Two packages in; one clothing one DAVID BAZAN DVD HELLZ YEAH (sorry, Iapos;m just fucking stoked)

-Finally emailed about my camera, and due to my organization skills, was able to find all of the warranty stuff within a minute

-May temporarily borrow a camera from Walmart since they take anything back

-Some random company credited my bank account seven bucks. Never heard of them, but THANKS

-Two new movies

-Pumpkin carving

-A new printer/scanner thing (thanks)

-Got the roids uploaded, finally.

-Cleaned a little

-Discovered that I am mildly retarded (this is in association with the "cleaned a little" category. I donapos;t wanna talk about it)

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Hello. Iapos;m 15 and I have a lot of teenage rage. I take it out on my blog sometimes.. Poor little thing, but Iapos;m not a total loser and my blog is worth reading. I have all my old entries from 2004 when I used to lie about my age in my older blogs from Livejournal and others, so enjoy that. I was hit by Hurricane Katrina so you can check out those entries, so enjoy that. But who cares?

About me, I was born in New Orleans, hit by hurricane katrina, so enjoy that..

Iapos;ll shut up now.
Iapos;m in Ohio.

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amvet maryland

�i am cheerfully going to beat marcus to death. Why? you may ask. Simple answer. HE CURSED ME TO FAIL MY CHEM. One flipping mark away. If only i remembered that hydrogen ions are cations. Bleah.

tomorrow is AYD day. Oh wait. D already stands for day. Ah whatever. And you know i thought mrs seah was so nice to cancel choir for this saturday (oh its today.) so that i could go eat lunch with vic and korny all. BUT, the ever so fateful twisting word but. Vic canapos;t go because sheapos;s mugging. Again. And korny has band. BOOHOO. Ah whatever. There is always next week. ICE CREAM�

iapos;m bored. And i canapos;t sleep. Its 152am. WOW. And nobodyapos;s online. Oh wait. There is: a bunch of random people who are either busy or away. I am seriously bored. Okay off to play neopets

(thank you goddess of emath now mr f doesnapos;t have an excuse to ramble on about how i have math tuition and how useless it is to my mom. YAYNESS.)

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So, I finished my first marathon this past Thanksgiving weekend in Victoria. And.....

I did great. But enough about me, you want to hear about the race RACE REVIEW REPORT:

Royal Victoria Marathon, Grade = A

Marathon Course:

Beautiful, nicely planned course that shows you everything from green space to rolling seaside terrain. The course was relatively flat with only minor elevation. Photographers were strategically planted in places with good background landscapes.

Aid Stations Signage

Honestly, there was a ton of aid stations. Everytime you'd want something an aid station would pop-up. The sponsor product for the Royal Victoria Marathon is Power Bar. They also had great signs that would let you know a water station was coming up (if around a corner) which I found helpful. It allowed me to prepare for the bottlenecking that always occurs or get excited. Another notable and well executed signage strategy was the markers at every kilometer point. I can't thank the race director enough for organizing these. I love having a sign per kilometer so I can calculate where I am time-wise for my goal. I'd like to also mention that we figured out the signage was quite accurate too.

Race Kit Pickup Expo:

This was a fairly well organized expo with lots to see and do. I missed seeing Simon Whitfeild speak though I'm sure it was great. There was a simply fabulous older man who was volunteering at the route map. This wonderful man was doling out fantastic words of encouragement and strategy. I hope everyone found him

Essentially I would do this race again without hesitation. Compared to the Kelowna event which I did the half marathon in the year before this was far more organized and professional. :) Two thumbs up

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iapos;m alone.
no one understands� me.
i have a learning disability and because of it i am treated like a retard.
iapos;m not a retard. I just canapos;t function in society like someone my own age, or like a mentally stable person for that matter.
i try to fit it, but i canapos;t. I donapos;t. I look like iapos;m from the 90apos;s. If i donapos;t cut my hair, itapos;ll grow into an insane mullet. My pants are mom jeans and my shoes are worn down sneakers.
but i canapos;t help that. My parents donapos;t have much money. And they donapos;t even treat my like a normal child.
my home life is not a sufficient place for a person like myself. I need special care and ways of learning that i canapos;t get from my parents.
i want to be normal. I try to be normal. But i canapos;t be normal.
i try to fit it. I wore a pair of dangly earings one day. It clashed with my outfit. But i thought they were pretty.
my front lawn is covered in lawn ornaments. Windmills and gnomes take refuge in the grass by my little shabby home.
i like them. They�bring me comfort. They donapos;t judge. They canapos;t judge. And because of that, i like them.
iapos;m judged everywhere else. At school, on the bus, at home. I canapos;t escape.
iapos;m tormented on the bus. The older kids at the back of the bus tease me for being a retard. They call me names�and make fun of�me entire way home. An hour of my day is taken up with nasty words shot at me. And i canapos;t do anything about it.
i sit at the front of the bus with�a boy in gr�6. He, too, has a mental disability, ADD. Weapos;re the same.
at school i have no friends except some of the other challenged people in my foundations math class.
iapos;m not stupid. Iapos;m not stupid. Not matter what people say. No matter what the kids at the back of the bus say, or my parents. I am not stupid.
i wish i could be like everyone else. Like a normal teenager. Hang out at the mall, talk about boys. But i canapos;t because people judge me on my appearance and mental stability. I donapos;t mean to be the way i am, itapos;s just the way i am and i cannot help it.
iapos;m lost.
iapos;m hurt.
i want to be loved and liked.
i want people to understand.
i donapos;t want to feel pain all the time.
i donapos;t want the bus to be a place of hate and place where i am scared.
i donapos;t want to look like iapos;m out of the 90s.
i feel like thereapos;s no escape.
iapos;m alone.
no one understands me.


(this was a piece of writing i just wrote.. Itapos;s from the perspective of a girl on my bus. It needs some editing. But itapos;ll come)

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LOLz
Too much drama yesterday, where my best friend was just telling me shit about my boyfriend cuz my ex boyfriend confirmed some news, that was not actually true, since sev and richard have only hung out once. And yesterday when I confronted sev, he didnapos;t say what he said to becky, but only that he cares about me and is glad t hat Iapos;m happy. Which is as we know to be Full of crap, since he obviously told becky something bad that was a lie otherwise she would not be yelling at me right now, lolz.
But I told him I hated him and deleted him off myspace and facebook, and now thinking about blocking him. Thatapos;s how pissed I am. And maybe you think Iapos;m overreacting, but someone also tried to give me a shit over the summer about how Iapos;ve changed cuz Iapos;m dating richard and it really pisses me off, that people canapos;t see what a great guy he is for me. The best actually. Plus its kind of the last straw, Iapos;m sick of sevapos;s crap and done dealing with it. Like I told becky last night, "If I wanted sev in my life, trust me, he would be there."

Anywayz thatapos;s the drama update. School was hard yesterday, didnapos;t do so well on spanish midterm, but nobody really did. And now we have to do a five minute oral presentation. Which will suck hard

And as for richard and me over that stupid drama, We are now stronger than ever as a couple, we had a mini fight about it and then we made up and talked for a while, saying sweet things to each other, about what we miss about each other and things like that. Really excited to see him for thanksgiving and heapos;s excited to see me=)


And now you guys should do this, just for Funsies:Tell me, anonymously, what you think of me. Feel free to be as nice or as nasty as you wish, as long as itapos;s honest. Tell me how youapos;re feeling right now, anonymously. Tell me whatapos;s on your mind or something thatapos;s been bugging you and you want to get off your chest. Ask for anony-cuddles. Tell me a story youapos;ve just made up or shout at me about something. Tell me a secret. Comment as many times as you like. Anything goes.


kapos;s more laters, byes.
p.s. Probadly write a poem about haters tonight, so expect a poem. Lolz.

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